Two Eyes
by WanderingTeen
Summary: OneShot: Poor Ragetti. Everyone's favorite oneeyed pirate is on a mission for some love. Cute ending. Rum for all who read and review!


**Two Eyes**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

**Alright, I came up with this early in the morning and I thought it would be cute. Hopefully it is. Read it and let me know what you think! I know that it seems strange, but the end, I hope, is good for a laugh. One shot for now.**

**-**

It was a beautiful day on the Caribbean Sea. The monkey could be heard chirping somewhere just above the deck, and Ragetti was, as usual, moping around on the deck.

Now, this was no everyday mope. Ragetti's eye was securely in its socket, Jack the monkey was occupied with something shiny, and there was plenty of rum to be had. No, Ragetti was in a bad mood because he could not help but notice that all the ladies doted and fawned upon Jack, Will (though Will was clearly devoted to Elizabeth and had no wish to touch another woman's breast), Norrington, and even captain Barbossa, while both he and Pintel where completely ignored by the opposite sex.

Speak of the balding devil, Pintel himself chose that very moment to swagger up onto the deck with a bottle of rum in his hand.

Looking over at his friend, Ragetti asked, "Am I attractive?"

Caught off guard, Pintel gave him a confused look and muttered, "What?", his voice gruff as usual.

"Am I aesthetically pleasing to the eye?" Ragetti reiterated.

Pintel cleared his throat. "I… er… prefer ladies."

"That's not what I meant." Ragetti moaned. "Don't you notice that the females we meet never pay us no attention?"

Pintel shrugged.

"I'm tired of it." Ragetti rubbed at his wooden eye. "Ladies should pay attention to us, too."

"Did I hear somethin' about lady troubles?" A smooth voice came. The two looked behind them and found Barbossa standing over them, one hand hooked comfortably on his belt and the other feeding Jack the monkey, now perched on his master's shoulder, a tidbit of apple. The two stared stupidly up at him until he rolled his eyes and snapped, "Well?"

"Y-yes, sir." Ragetti replied.

"And what be the problem?" Barbossa asked.

"'E's under the impression that the women don't like 'im." Pintel explained.

Barbossa gave them a look. "The two of you… yer lookin' for women?"

Ragetti gave a nod.

"Ye mean you aren't…?" Barbossa raised an eyebrow suggestively and Jack gave an agreeable shriek.

"Aren't what?" Pintel asked, entirely at a loss.

"Ne'r mind." Barbossa replied. "But if yer lookin' for a female companion… I know a lass."

"… You do?" Ragetti asked, excitement appearing in his functional eye.

"Aye." Barbossa confirmed. He slapped a hand on Ragetti's shoulder and Jack scrambled down his arm and onto Ragetti's head. Ragetti slumped momentarily under the unexpected weight before regaining his upright stance. "She be a waitin' at Tortuga tonight. I think she'd take a likin' to ye."

Ragetti grinned. "T-thanks, Captain."

Barbossa shrugged off the thanks and turned away, leaving Jack perched on Ragetti's head. He moved towards his cabin, adding, "We'll stop off at Tortuga t'night so ye can meet 'er."

"Yes, sir!" Pintel agreed.

Barbossa shook his head and closed his door. "Pair of idiots, those two…"

Ragetti gave a satisfied sigh. "I wonder what she'll be like…"

"Pretty nice of Barbossa, helpin' ye find a girl." Pintel muttered. "Ye'd better tidy yerself up for 'er. Ladies like men all prettied up, ye know."

Ragetti nodded, disturbing the monkey perched on his head. Disgruntled, Jack balled his little fingers into a fist and pounded on the blond pirate's temple, causing his wooden eye to pop out of his head. Before Ragetti could grab for it, Jack leapt off his head and snatched his eye out of the air, pressing it into his mouth and scampering off to gnaw on his new prize.

"Stupid Monkey!" Ragetti cried.

Pintel winced. "And I think ye should hide yer eye problem."

"Why?" Ragetti asked, pausing before leaping after the evil creature.

"Women don't like havin' a bit o' wood starin' outta a man's eye socket." Pintel explained. "It ruins the mood. Women are all about their romance, ye know."

Ragetti nodded. "What d'ye suggest?"

Pintel sighed. "We've got plenty of plunder down bellow. Pick some fancy clothes outta there, then we'll fig're out what to do with that eye."

During this conversation, Jack had been playing with Ragetti's eye, banging it against random things before it slipped from his paws and fell to the floor, rolling to it's owner's feet.

Ragetti dove to the ground and snatched the wooden item up, spitting on it before wiping it on his vest and popping it back into his skull. "But we should find somethin' blue. It matches my complexion."

Pintel, who had already started for the stairs to the areas bellow deck, turned and gave his friend a bewildered look. "How d'ye know?"

Ragetti shrugged. "Common sense."

-

Several hours later, after trying on a dozen or so outfits, Ragetti was ready. He looked rather dashing in a pair of new black boots, dark brown trousers, a loose (and clean) white shirt and an attractive blue vest and matching bandana.

Pintel looked over his friend with satisfaction. "Now, fer the eye…"

"I could just keep it closed all the time." Ragetti suggested.

Pintel shook his head. "She'll notice that."

"… Eyepatch?"

"No. Won't go with the outfit."

Ragetti nodded, stroking his mustache and thinking. Then, a brilliant through crossing through his mind, he pulled the bandana down over his right eye. "How's that?"

Pintel thought for a moment. "It is a bit fetching…"

"Tortuga ho!" came a voice from above.

-

Tortuga was the same as always, full of drunken pirates and other ne'er do wells. Barbossa led his crew into their usual Tavern, the Turtle Shell, and the crew quickly dissipated into the drunken haze. Only Pintel and Ragetti remained at Barbossa's side, and Pintel was soon following after an attractive woman who probably wouldn't give him the time of day.

Several women jumped up, forgetting the men they where with, and flocked to Barbossa's side. Sighs of "Hector, darling" and "what brings you back, sexy?" almost drowned out the din around them.

Promising the girls that he'd catch up with them later, Barbossa pulled Ragetti over to a table in a far corner. A young woman sat there, her wild red hair back in a loose braid. She wore a dark green dress that left the top of her pale breasts bare and inviting. A battered pink fan was up in front of her face, blocking the men from seeing her and keeping the smoke from the surrounding candles and pipes away.

"Ragetti," Barbossa gestured to the girl, "Meet my niece, Emma." Leaning down to the girl and tapping her shoulder, he added, "Emma, this is Ragetti."

Ragetti turned and glanced nervously at Barbossa. His niece? Perfect. If he tried anything or did anything wrong, the captain would have his guts for garters…

Emma looked up, moving the fan to the side so her left cheek and eye was visible. She was on the plain side, the visible eye the color of her dress. She wasn't astonishingly beautiful, but Ragetti couldn't help grinning to himself. Scantily dressed as she was, she was a pirates dream. If only she'd toss that stupid fan…

"Hi."

"Hello…"

Barbossa cleared his throat. "Yes… well, I must be off. Have fun…" he grabbed Ragetti by the collar. His voice low so Emma couldn't overhear, he growled, "You make her sad, boy, and I'll rip your face clean off, understand?"

"Yes sir!" Ragetti mumbled.

"Argh." Barbossa gave him another warning look and then, releasing him, went back to the crowd of women fawning over him.

Emily sighed, still waving her fan. "So… you're a pirate on my uncle's ship?"

"Yes." Ragetti replied. After a long, uncomfortable pause, he went to pull out the second chair at the table, asking, "So, d'ye come here often?" and tripping over his own too feet.

"Ragetti!" Emma dropped down beside him, her fan still in her hand. "Are you alright?"

Ragetti lay spread across the filthy floor, his nice new cloths stained beyond repair from the filth. Luckily, his bandana had kept his eye from popping out and rolling away from him. "I'm fine…"

Emma chuckled and helped him up with her free hand. "Come on. Let's have a drink."

-

Within an hour's time, Emma was entranced with Ragetti. Likewise, he found her charming and was rather pleased to have some attention from a woman, through the constant waving of her fan was a bit annoying. A few more drinks, though, and he thought it was adorable.

Emma had him tell her a saga of his pirate adventures, assuring him that he was the best pirate she had ever heard of, even better than her uncle. She was lying through her teeth, of course, but he enjoyed it all the same. But after a while, she broke into his story and asked, "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

Ragetti shrugged. "No."

Nervously waving her fan, Emma mumbled, "Do you… think I'm pretty?"

Ragetti gave her a funny look. "Yes… why?"

She shrugged. "Just wondering."

He nodded to himself and took a long swig of his drink, loving the luxury of having a cold mug instead of a bottle like usual.

Emma took a long drink from her own mug, not putting it down until it was drained. Then, in a sudden burst of courage, she closed her eyes, lay her fan on the table, and leaned in to give Ragetti a kiss.

Or, at least she tried. She was a mere six inches from Ragetti's lips when someone tripped behind her and knocked into, hitting her in the back of the head. Her eyes opened wide and the right one popped out, hitting Ragetti on the chin before falling into his mug.

Emma looked down into his mug, her cheeks reddening. "Damn."

Ragetti blinked. "What?"

"Sorry…" Emma grabbed his mug, snatched the eye out with the thumb and forefinger of her right hand, and wiped it dry on the hem of her skirt.

"Do… do _you_ have a wooden eye?" Ragetti asked. Now that the fan was out of the way, he could see a puckered scar running along her left eyelid.

Emma sighed bitterly. "Yes, alright? I have a wooden eye. My uncle visited my family once when I was young and left his knife out on the table and I decided to play with it."

-

She remembered almost crystal clearly. She'd been about four or five when her favorite person in the world, her uncle Barbossa, had come over for dinner. He usually came around after he'd gone on one of his big adventures. Her parents owned a pub at the edge of Tortuga and made a nice wage serving rum to pirates whose appetite for the stuff could never quite be slackened. Her parents had spoiled her a little because she was their little girl. Her father was a friendly Irish man, telling her legends of leprechauns and banshees all through childhood, and her mother, Barbossa's younger sister, was, in Emma's opinion, the best in the whole wide world.

Uncle Barbossa had used the knife to cut up some apple for her and her brother, leaving it on the table when he'd finished. At the time Emma and her brother, James, had been obsessed with being "just like Uncle Barbossa" and she'd picked it up without any of the adults noticing. It wasn't until they'd gotten a good ways away from the table and Emma tripped that they noticed that the knife was missing.

It had hurt. God, had it ever hurt. And even after the pain went away, it had taken a while to adjust to this new way of seeing the world. But it hadn't been all bad. Uncle Barbossa felt bad about it and visited more often, so she got to see him more. Her parents gave her more attention than ever. And her brother thought that it was the coolest thing in the world. Especially after she'd gotten a wooden prosthetic that she could pop out to tease her mother. The splinters bothered her every once and a while, but she got used to them eventually.

It wasn't until she was thirteen or so that Emma realized that men didn't exactly take kindly to the wooden eye. It hadn't bothered her too much, except the stares did make her feel a little awkward. But her Uncle had taken her on a short trip to Port Royal. There she'd seen a pretty lady with a nice pink fan and, when the lady tripped over a loose stone, she'd snatched up the fan and ran like hell. It had been a fun trip: Barbossa bought her a book called _Beauty and the Beast _and, though neither of them could read too well, they'd struggled through it until she'd memorized the story and could recite it with ease.

A few years later, she'd had her first crush on a boy her father had hired to clean up around the pub. Of course, he wouldn't give her the time of day. Uncle Barbossa had come to visit one evening and found her with _Beauty and the Beast_ open on her lap and tears streaming down her face.

"_What's th'matter?" He'd asked._

"_I'm ugly." She mumbled. _

_Uncle Barbossa had stood there for a minute, unsure of what to tell the teenage girl whose eye was missing, he felt, because of him. After a minute, he put a hand on her shoulder and murmured, "No, lass. You're beautiful."_

"_The boy I like doesn't like me." She replied._

"_Then he's daft." Barbossa replied without missing a beat._

_Emma had sat silently for a few moments, tears still rolling down her cheeks. Then, looking up at her uncle, she admitted, "I don't think I'll ever find someone who loves me."_

"_Now don't be thinkin' that." Barbossa replied. "You'll find someone. They're just not on Tortuga, s'all." He paused for a moment, and then added, "How 'bout we make a deal?"_

_Emma rubbed her fists over her face to get rid of her tears. "That's that?"_

"_I'll help find a lad that's perfect for ye." He explained. "Between the two of us, we'll find 'im. But you've gotta promise that there'll be no more cryin' about it, right?"_

_She nodded, a small smile appearing at the very edges of her mouth. "I promise."_

_Barbossa gave her hand a squeeze. "Then we have an accord."_

So she'd waited and waited. Her parents had left the pub to James and herself and moved to a less rowdy location. Emma had been patient, knowing that her uncle would never let her down. And now he'd finally brought someone, and she was messing it up.

-

Emma looked up at Ragetti, her left eye filling with tears and the right eye socket empty. "I know it's ugly, but-"

"No!" Grabbing her hand, Ragetti tore off his bandana and pointed to his right eye. "It's wood!"

Emma stared at him. Her tears slowed and she took a deep breath. "You have a wooden eye?"

"Yes." Ragetti replied.

"So… you were hiding it?"

"Aye." Ragetti nodded, popping the wooden thing out of its socket.

"Don't you hate the splinters?" Emma asked.

Ragetti nodded. "I've been tryin' to find a nice glass eye…"

Before he could finish, Emma grabbed him and planted a kiss on his lips. He had no idea how to react to this, since she was indeed Barbossa's niece and attractive besides.

"What's the matter?" Emma asked.

_To hell with Barbossa._ "Your wooden eye is pretty." Ragetti mumbled in an attempt at romance.

"So is yours." Emma replied.

Ragetti grinned nervously and leaned in for another kiss. Emma leaned in to meet him and the two met in the middle, both glad to have finally found a second eye.


End file.
